You know, it’s interesting this came up. The hubs and I just watched a movie the other night, “Remember me”. Kind of a dark movie, with a twist at the end, and it turned me into a blubbering mess! But it brought us into a philosophical discussion.
I could say that I would love to change the fact that my father died when I was 10. And I would love to change the fact that my brother lost his life at 25. I would love the change that my step father passed just two short years after my brother did, and who was left? Me with my mom. Sure I have other family, and I love them dearly, but the ones that spent the time…..me and my mom. And I would love to say that I would change all of those things. I would love to change a lot of things I’ve done, people I’ve hurt, things I’ve done, love I’ve shared…..or not shared. But I wouldn’t.
I would love to have had my father see me grow up, I would love to have had fights with him about who I was seeing and when. I would have loved to have him walk me down the aisle at my wedding. But God had a different plan. And those things were not in his plan.
I wish my brother wouldn’t have left so soon. And in the movie the question was “If he could hear you, what would you tell him?” And my answer is the same as in the movie….”I love you, God I miss you, and I forgive you”! And as much as I so wish these things would change…..would I change them? Not in a heartbeat.
I am who I am because of what has happened in my life. I am a product of all my life’s experiences. You change 1/10th of a second and your whole life is different. I like who I am, I like who I have become. I don’t want to be someone different.
I do feel that because of the loss that I have suffered in life, I tend to cherish things a little more. I believe that time is short….WE just are not privy to that time frame. I do tell people that I know that tell me about differences they have with their families and how they don’t talk to them and such. DON’T WAIT! CALL THEM, Tell them you love them in spite of the differences. Because Time is short…..LIFE, is short. I do believe I have the admiration and respect for my mom, and the sacrifices she made for me as a mom, more so because I witnessed it all, I was there and I saw what she went through, and now even more that I am a mom.
I do believe that there are lessons in everything we do. And some, we learn right away and others we have to bang our head against the wall expecting a different result. And that result will never come!
The experiences we have shape who we are. They transform your soul. And that is why being a mom, to me is not just about protecting my children, and teaching them right from wrong….it’s so much more. The experiences they have, the people they come in contact with, the things they see….THAT is what shapes their soul. It’s not just a miracle that they grow inside for 9 months….what is also a miracle is that God chose ME to shape who they are….what they will become….and the experiences they have! That’s a pretty tall order.
So would I change anything about my life…..NOT. ONE. SECOND!
Brought to you by MamaKat
18 comments:
Beautiful post, Erin.
It is a tall order to shape these younglings. And at times, a real challenge. But at others, a real pleasure. I'm just trying to embrace it all.
And so true, all these little things do shape us into the people we are today.
Love this post. I feel and understand what you write here. I do wish my parents are still around to see me get married and quit my job to be s SAHM. I wish they could see their beautiful grandson.
And yes, losing your loved ones makes you cherish the ones around you more. It's only those who have gone through this who will understand.
( I'm a full-time mummy )
Rough (but beautiful) words. I totally identify. I've lost so many people that should have lived much longer than they were granted.
So true! There are always things we wish were different, but those are the things that made us. Very well said.
I came here (from Mama's Losin' It) because your name is Erin. Mine is too, but I really liked your post. I could think of many things to change about my life (I lost my mum at 5 and estranged from Dad at around the same time) but I agree with you wholeheartedly...
That movie messed me up, badly. Seriously couldn't stop crying. Cried myself into a headache for sure. It's very profound of you to say that you wouldn't change things. Don't think I would say that. There are already so many things I wish were different that I'm sure I wouldn't. Sorry for all of the things you've weathered, but good for you for persevering and being so awesome too!
This is a beautiful post Erin, and so true. Although I do not like all of the events that have transpired in my life either, I truly believe they have made me who I am and I don't want to change that part of it.
I'm glad you are who you are too, despite what you've had to endure to get here. Your boys are so lucky to have the best mommy they could possibly ever have. Love ya!
And weren't you just johnny on the spot getting into that first position at Mama Kat's today, woohoo! I also just watched that movie last week and was so shocked at the ending...great movie though!
Have a blessed day!
Trudy
I love your perspective on this prompt. I chose it as well.
I would not change anything in past either although there are a few that while they were happening I remember thinking, "If I could change things I totally would"...
I focused my post on changing things now....because I can.
Great words. Have a great day.
I think about that kind of thing sometimes too. I agree that we have to experience some of life's hurts in order to shape us into who we are.
When I get sad about my dad's passing, I remember how much pain and strife and division there has been within the family since he died, and then I'm just grateful he didn't have to see any of it.
Erin, this is such an eye-opening post. I would have never thought of the losses the way you have. I'm much more selfish I think. Great post!!
Great post. I don't think I would think of lost of someone the way you do. There are always things we wish were different but those are the things that make us who we are.
I'm a fan of keeping things the same but also of change. If I could just tweak a few things here and there...I'd be good.
Living too close to the events that are the twist at the end of that movie is the reason it took me three times watching it to appreciate it and not leave angry. I own it and have not been able to watch it at home yet.
You're right. Life is too short so why waste time?
Nice blog. Stop by and see me sometime.
Michelle
http://pietrosmomma.blogspot.com/
I agree. Life is short! We shouldn't waste time. Really enjoyed your post and your positive attitude.
Stopped in from Mama Kat's.
stopping by from Kat's workshop. I loved your post, and I wouldn't change anything either! Because I would be afraid I wouldn't be where I am now if I did.
Well said and such a good reminder that our lives (with all its sadnesses and tragedies) do make us who we are and changing that would change us in some fundamental way.
That's such an incredible perspective...
Aw Bless your heart. I wish everyone could have such a postive attitude about life. I think you're right though, if you change one second about your life...you aren't yourself anymore!
Awesome post!
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