You know Jill over at Scary Mommy is doing this contest that I entered....and it's been a lot of fun to read through all the entries and comment and read all the comments that people left on my scary mommy post as well as the comments on everyone else's posts.
This is my original Post
And I'm realizing something, we all have something in common, seems that every single mom in America could classify as a Scary Mommy....we've all lost our cool, we've all let our kids watch TV, a lot of us have left the kids in the car when we ran up to the ATM or into the store....I saw a woman just last weekend leave her toddler in a locked van to run into Panda Express to pick up dinner.
It's so common place to realize what we are doing wrong....when we yell at our kids does that make us scary? Well according to all my comments no it doesn't, it makes me just like the rest of all of you!
Maybe I should post about the things I DO RIGHT and maybe it's those things that makes me scary.
Like I am so very anal about my children and their naps and bedtime. I don't vary from it, ask any of my friends and they will tell you, I have missed parties, get togethers, lunches....you name it, I've missed it...why? Because my boys nap at 1pm....NO LATER! They go to bed at 8:30pm every night, No. Matter. What! If you call me at 8:35 and my children are still up, it's because they are sick. Ask my family....we plan parties around their nap time. No if, ands or Butts. There is no special treatment. Sorry! And you know what? It works, you tell my 2 1/2 year old okay buddy it's time for bed, he gets up gets his stuffed monkey and his blanket and he goes off to his room for bed....let's hope it lasts!
How about the computer....I don't get on the computer while my children are awake, I just don't. Not that it's right or wrong, it just doesn't work for me. For one because they aren't the best at playing by themselves or with each other, they need my attention, and I need to be watching them constantly. Ask the hubs, he knows, the minute they go down to bed at night, the computer goes on and I'm blogging. I used to be able to blog at work, ummm yeah they frowned upon that!
My kids watch TV, but not much. They watch a little bit in the morning and a little bit before bed. I don't want my kids to know every single character on TV, I'm picky about what they watch, they watch Disney channel stuff and PBS stuff and that's it. My children don't know who Scobby is, they don't know who Tom and Jerry are, they don't even know "What's up Doc?" Stuffy? Maybe....but my boys are violent enough without seeing it on TV.
I make my children mind....do they hit and slap and bite, SURE....but they also get in trouble for it, I don't falter on my time outs, sure I give in to a lot of little things, but those are important....I don't want my child to be the bully. I don't want to be THAT mom at the park or the birthday parties where everyone is complaining to me about my child being a punk because they shoved some one else's child or slapped someone else's daughter.
I am consistant in my gentle remindings....PLEASE and THANK YOU no matter what!
I Don't force my children to hug or kiss anyone they don't want to, I'm a psychology major, it must be in my brain....I don't believe it's proper to show your children that they should sucumb to an adult just because they are the Aunt or the Uncle or an adult....family or otherwise. It leaves them open to feel obligated to allow someone to touch them when they don't want to be.
I don't believe in "the baby" always gets his way because he is the baby. If Christopher has a toy and Thomas takes it from him, he has to give it back, and say sorry. Same goes for Christopher, even though he's the baby! (and okay he doesn't say sorry yet) but I say it for him and he will have to learn to deal and share just as his older brother has to!
So maybe all my strictness and the things I DO RIGHT, are what make me a "scary mommy" I don't know. I know that I don't care what others think, this is MY family, and we may do things differently But I do know that no matter what....I'm doing the best I can with the knowledge that I have, it's not always the best way, it's not always the right way, but it's MY WAY and it's working. My boys are thriving.....see me in about 15 years and I'll let you know what I think then!
My Little Miracles
3 comments:
I was the same about the naps. With my autistic twins, it's the one thing I got right that paid off. They may not have slept through the night for six years, but we NEVER had trouble with putting them to bed. They knew the routine and it stuck. Great job!
All we can do is try our best-- and I totally agree about reading the other posts- I love feeling like I'm not alone in being imperfect! :)
I'm pretty strict on nap and bedtimes, but we've been out past both. My 2-year-old knows what night-night is and he's usually ready for it. He likes to sleep. Yay!
My kid only watches PBS (we don't get anything else). I kind of wish he knew who half the clothes he wore were. He's got some that he has no clue. lol Hand-me-downs.
I think it's great you don't force them to kiss or hug everyone. I ask him to but there have only been a few times where he doesn't want to. That's fine with me. But I do like when he does kiss & hug people (it's cute).
I think you sound like a good mom, not an actually scary one. :)
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